Outback Boy

Dear Outback Boy,

There's a small part of me that feels sorry for you, the other part of me is fed up. I swear I can hear you coming from a mile away with your pathetic music genre whose artists' vocabulary is as extensive as this:

"bleep, f#!*, bleep, bleep f#!*, bleep f#!*.........."

Yeah you get the idea. Not exactly what I prefer to tune into early in the morning just moments before educating my mind.

Next comes a thick brown dust cloud and appears your white outback filled with cigarette smoke spewing out of your slightly cracked, yellow-ish tinted windows. You look at me with this smirk on your face that makes me want nothing more than to slap it right off. Occasionally I'll glance over only to find you starring at me with that same shovanistic pig looking smirk that you've seemed to master. Then while making a desperate attempt to impress me, you'll start bobbing your head to the beat of that repulsive music you fill your mind with. All of this while smiling at me with your yellow, gross looking teeth.

Every morning while getting out of my car and trying to find safety in a classroom I hear something like this:

"Hey beautiful, what's your name?"

"Give me your number."

"Come talk to me."

Lately my favorite has been this:

"How come you never say hi to me?"

Outback boy know this, I will never talk to you. I would never date someone like you. I am counting down the days when I will not have to deal with you. Finally, here is a word of advice: If you ever want a girlfriend I would suggest being more tactful and gentlemen like while "approaching" the opposite sex. No girl I know likes boys who smoke. Also let this be a warning to you, I have pepper spray!

Have a nice day!